Chat sites

Dear comrades,

Its a war out there, the war of man vs. women in the ring of love. I get hit on, on these chat sites and the chat texts that come to me are so amusing, I can't help but be amusing back. However, I think it is more terror then humor, for them that is. If a man wants to play, he has to step up.

A 56 year old broke down non book reading, non many things fellow starts sending me texts. This is what happened.

Him:"Hey you are good lookin! Whatcha up to tonight?"
Me: "Taxidermy! I am trying to taxidermy my dog but it wont hold still!"
Him: "Maybe he just has some energy to burn, how old is he?"
Me: "2, I just watched a video on youtube about taxidermy and thats FOR ME."
Me: "I gotta get a gun so I can go shoot some wild animals. But instead of glass eyes, I am going to give them googly eyes!"

Friends, it looks like Spring

I am a week out from a big surgery and the hardcore meds are dwindling. Ofcourse being allergic to morphine which one of the nectars of Gods right up there with watermelon juice and true loves kiss - well this girl is allergic to it.

Some of the fellows are coming back from deployments. I see their return as joyful events with an eye on whats coming up next. As much as I admire and am proud of the men and women serving, I turn equal admiration and pride to the husbands, wives and SO's back here serving their families. Making life happen, normalcy, being strung thin. Not knowing daily.

I was walking around marveling that perhaps most of winter is over, amazed as always at how things push up through the frozen ground, the black earth and the green leaves and bits.

Resiliency. It takes you far in life.

This is a short one. Just wait till I am healed up when I am in my right mind and share the tales of the hospital and how my veins are shy, so shy damnit that every blood draw and iv is a test of mental strength.

I wonder if I should start carrying a hammer around. Just a small one. Then people will know I mean business OR I am ready to fix something.

Please take good care of yourself out there.

Love,

Rose

Attention

How was your VD? Or rather Valentines Day? Mine was spent eating dinner at Whole Foods and watching all the couples who were about to get down buy alcohol and chocolate. And the couples who were simply together to keep from being alone rolling their eyes alot at the checkouts. I highly recommend Whole Foods for the dining experience and theater.



I hope some or most of you are getting a chance to watch the Olympics. If you are online then you can hit nbc.com, my favorite is the luge and especially the skeleton. You go down HEAD FIRST. How crazy is that? I was on a short vacation and my girl child got hurt so I came home and she is healing up. Battered a bit but still feisty.


Thats all I got for right now, please stay safe and take care of each other.

Love,

Rose

Look at the photos!

Dearest Trooplees, can I call you that? Are we close enough that I can install a nickname? Good. I am glad you agree with me since you are merely reading. Its 6:12 here or in Army time, 06:12 hundred billion hours. I haven't been to sleep yet, but what is sleep when you are young?

Today I have brought you from my collection of oddities, photos, feel free to snag them for yourself. Oh and my commentary.

Let us begin!


A shirt for dirty whores! What does jingle mean? Maybe if she is repeatedly making this 'jingle' she is less whore and more comforting the troops?



Whatever happened to the french anyways?



Create your own zombie army, then you can go home! Let the undead take care of business, who needs guns when you crave brains?

I have a little crush on red robot. Don't tell him

Note that the teeth are beers. Do you want to stare at that all day?




Who says buildings are phallic?

Baby, its cold inside

God Damn carbon monoxide poisoning. If it was in any kind of form I could fistfight I would beat its ass. Have been staying at an extended stay hotel for a week now. Coming back home when it was over 30. Today however, the furnace is being installed and I wont be coming out of my bedroom till Spring.

I feel for all of you who sleep in giant tents with your comrades right next to you. If its anything like sleeping within 3 feet of a 16 year old who gets texts through the night and snores and wakes up constantly, I salute you.

Or I would salute you if I were a troop soldier etc myself. Instead I would put you in my spare room with a white noise generator and the curtains drawn.

While you were defending our country or getting a blowjob from a Thai hooker I was loading up my car to drive home. Part of that was carrying a beta fish in its tank down flights of stairs. I came home coated in fish water. Got my child to school late and now I am showered and still pissed.

Fuck.

Take good care of yourselves, the Armed Forces are tending to your warming needs,

Love,

Rose

Corpus Christi, USS Lexington

Hello beautiful people.

I have returned to my very own frozen tundra. I have brought photos from my 25 degree trip to Corpus Christi Texas where I got to check out the USS Lexington and this guy who parked in front of us.







Question: Do you think he is a Marine? He had
a full Marine uniform on and appeared to be
90 years old. He eyed me like I was Arlo
Guthrie sitting on that bench in that certain song.






If you can't read the last bumper sticker on the right it says 'Some people just NEED Killing That's Why We Have Marines.

Onto the USS Lexington. First, how the heck do people live on boats? Are the stairways bigger now? Less steep? How many stair accidents occur on these huge boats?
















The USS Lexington was in use for over 40 years. Did I mention she was built by women in record time? She also survived repeated attacks and accidents. Including a kamikaze attack. All told, 300 people lost their lives on the USS Lexington.

It was an intense experience. Walking into and down into where people lived, ate, worried, died, got root canals with minimal if any hardcore meds. It says Ladies Head and I find that humorous because inside every full grown woman is a Kyle or Stan. True fact. Till the next time. Take good care of yourself and your comrades. Love, Rose

San Antonio Sex-As or men in uniform galore

Dearest Dear Troops,

I am on paid medical leave. I am down here in San Antonio to visit my oldest and dearest friend. I don't get to see alot of people in uniform. Where I live, there are no bases. But when I move to California, I will get my fix. Oh yesss.

So, there are several bases down here. And there are men in uniform. Pre boarding I kept noticing a gentleman looking at me. When one has the PTSD, the spidey sense does tingle. As subtley as possible (I have subtlety issues) I whipped my head around to stare him down. Oh my. A gentleman, around my age in a uniform. His manner was easy going, I could read 'Army' on the front of his uniform (is it only Marines who call them blouses?) - I smiled. I tend to smile at people because that is how I am. I dole out smiles and good thoughts with reckless abandon. That is who I am.

One day, I will get a big dose of love and roll in it. Yeah.

So the Army d00d sat a few rows back and read. It was nice to see a man, going somewhere to do something, perhaps awful, at ease. Relaxing and enjoying his book and looking at me.

I am nothing special. I was wearing a beret. Not a green beret. A purple one. Perhaps he thought I was part of a crack team of purple berets?



I fell asleep after a while as I have not been sleeping. Ye olde depression has crushed me like a building in a Godzilla movie.

Anyways, tonight after a fine repast with my bestie and her husband, we went to Super Target. It was my first time in a Super Target. I was there to get muscle milk and luna bars. They to shop.
In walked a man, so exquisite I immediately began making witty comments while fingering ball shaped produce. At some point Im sure I faux fellated a cucumber.

No, but really. This fellow was also about my age. We kept running into each other in different aisles. All his grocery choices were spot on. Newmans Own, wine for example. Then he checked out a lane away from ours.

I should of walked over to introduce him and get a close look at the way his pants tucked into his boots or how he kept cracking a smile when he saw me.

I didn't. But it was not all for naught, really. I got to smile, make a soldier laugh a few times and appreciate a man at leisure, no fighting, no warring. Just shopping with some crazy pale faced girl singing show tunes, 'I am the very model of a modern major general!'.

Tomorrow, we go to Corpus Christi and apparently there is a battleship there and allegedly there might be a sailor or two. I will say Hello to the gulf for you all and gather some seashells.

My dear dear dear friend gets up at 4:00 AM TO GO WORK OUT, so I better hit the g.d. hay. We will be on the road to the gulf by dawn thirty.

Sickly me, sans makeups and fancy lighting, not even a whisper of lip gloss. But, you may note my purple beret. I look tired because I am the tiredest person in the world currently.

This shirt, let me buy it for you

But you wouldn't really wear it, would you? Maybe as an ironic gesture? To acquire sexual partners?

Operation the game freaks me out

Looks harmless, right? Oh pee, he kind of looks like a morbidly obese H1tler. Or maybe a Marx brother? What are you Mr.Operation guy?

Back to the inherent creepiness and horror that is Operation. First let me say that I like my games to not possibly shock and or startle me. Remember I have a strong
startle reflex and the few people who have 'snuck' up on me got harmed. Those are all the details I can divulge at this time regarding the harming, lawyers and cases pending and so forth.

Hey did I tell you I got myself a shark knife for Christmas? I need a special sheath made so that I can carry it around and cut things open, should the need arise. Check his little row of bone crunching teeth. Awww, so cute!




My daughter like most children of the world, even the ones who speak a dialect of tongue clicks love SpongeBob. So Santa, that wiley bastard brought Operation SpongeBob. Shudder. Being a Mother is one of the things I do best, unfortunately the pay sucks but, shaping little humans is what I do best. Bwahaha. So when she wanted me to play this, abomination with her, who was I to say no? Its a simple childs game. A game where you are, without proper medical training entrusted to taking out irregularly shaped innards and there are sparks and loud noises. Fun! My kind of game is Scrabble. I play it all the time. Scrabble, nice little squares and words to make!

SpongeBob is the eternal innocent. My daughter is a pro at this and besides her mountain of toys, she also received a first aid kit because she loves to wrap anything that can't get away quick enough up to 'fix' them.

Then, it was my turn. I forced a smile and cursed Santa. My hands only shook mildly and I got the first one out. WHEW. My daughter took her turn and aced it. Then it came my turn. I had to do some kind of brain surgery and it was all down hill from there. I screamed the noise was so loud when I touched the side. I saw sparks. My dog came running to me like I had been harmed or I had a meat product to give to her. The game continued as I sucked down my fear and loathing of this game.

Finally. The last organ was out. I told my daughter that we both won when she started gloating about how much Operation dough she had acquired. Then, I left the room, for a quieter place, without zips and zaps and SpongeBob.

I hope your Christmas was quiet much loved troopages. I lit a candle for you.

I am going to enjoy some egg nog (last night I had half a glass and fell asleep, thats how you party when you are 37) and read some of the tasty books I got.

Merry Christmas, truly. Next year, may yours be spent with the ones you love and far far from war and Operation games.

World War Z, winter training

Dear Troops,

The East East coast got a bunch of snow. I say, use weather emergencies to practice for the inevitable world war Z.

A) Freezing temperatures slow down zombies, frozen zombies = zombie popsicle
B) Snow as a natural barrier
C) You are stocked up and stuck at home. Time to rally the kids for some zombie drills!

Drills:
Build a truncheon, I read something about it being the best. Build snow zombies. If you have children, I am all for child labor. Safety first!


So, you have your snow zombies. Feel free to add some blood, fake is okay, I guess. Not everyone has a few pints of their blood type in the fridge, I guess.

If you have seen every zombie movie made in the entire world. You will have learned some things. First is that George Romero is a visionary. Also, that we WANT his vision of zombies to be true. Slow moving zombies.

Take turns whacking the heads off the snow zombies. They wont mind! Give family members tips on severing the brain stem.

Yes, Christmas is looming. It is terrifying out there. I was forced to go to the mall and it was awful. I had to go to a particular store because I was tasked with getting a female relative fancy smelly stuff from a store that every mall in the world has.

After being smashed into by atleast 5 overly caffeinated unaware consumers, I decided it was time to have my elbows out. I made my purchase and crawled like I was going underneath barb wire, out to the parking lot where my companion on this hellish foray swung the mighty PT Cruiser curbside and without stopping, I leapt into the vehicle and we were gone.

Its harrowing out there.

But, I guess you all understand harrowing.

Be careful, look out for each other and watch for zombies.

With gratitude and survivor mentality,

Rose